When will your divorce be over?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions, but the true answer is not what you might think.
People constantly ask us, “When will my divorce be over?” And we always have to say, “Well, it depends on what you mean by ‘over.’ ”
In one unforgettable case, a woman came in asking for orders against her ex-husband. She was haggard with emotion, nervous and upset to the point that she seemed ill. Trembling, she related at length how bad her ex-husband was, how ever since their divorce he had been poisoning her son’s mind against her and was constantly interfering with their relationship. She seemed a bit old to have a young child at home, so I interrupted and asked the age of her son. “He’s just turned 32,” she said . . . “Oh. And how long ago was the divorce?” “About seventeen years,” she said. This wasn’t a divorce, it was a career! A way of life!
Getting a judgment doesn’t mean your divorce is over. Not having a judgment doesn’t mean it isn’t over emotionally.
The real divorce is over when you have your self back. The real divorce is over when:
- the pain, anger, hurt, blame and guilt are finished
- your spouse no longer has the power to push your buttons
- you are comfortable in the middle of your own life
This can happen very soon, many years from now, or never. It’s up to you.
For more information, contact Divorce Helpline at 800-359-7004
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