How to fight effectively at less expense
Seven quick tips.
1. Know exactly what you want from the battle
The most important part of preparation for battle is thought. Don’t go to war without it. Think about your case, your life, and get very detailed and specific about what you want: property, support, future relationships for yourself and your children, life goals and values.
Sometimes all you want at first is more information that your spouse won’t give you, or a check on what has been given. Your lawyer can get information under oath. At some point, you will have all the information there is, then you will have to decide finally what you ultimately want.
Planning your battle strategy — even to the type of attorney you choose — depends on a clear understanding of what you want to accomplish in the battle. What property do you want? How much support? How much do you care about future relations between you and your spouse or the emotional well-being of your children and their relationship with their other parent?
2. Try to narrow the issues
Before you get into a battle and all during the fight, do whatever you can to narrow the issues. This means you try to agree with your spouse, in writing, to as many points as possible.
Sometimes you can agree to a whole lot of things, then agree that you disagree on certain remaining issues and that you will let the court decide. A battle is much more efficient when conducted on a narrow front.
Be very cautious about taking advice to broaden the battle! It may indeed strengthen your bargaining position if you ask for far more than you want or attack an issue you don’t care about, but it can also stimulate the opposition, undermine your credibility, and prolong the battle.
3. Set the tone of the battle
If you care at all about keeping the level of conflict as low as possible, then be sure to keep your spouse informed at all times and well ahead of time about what you and your lawyer are doing and why you are doing it. This helps to minimize unpleasant surprises, misunderstandings and overreaction, especially if your spouse returns the favor. It helps to keep the background lines of communications open.
Communicate by letter to avoid arguments; keep copies. Remember, most cases eventually get settled by the spouses between themselves, not by their lawyers, so you will be better off for trying to keep communication lines open.
4. Set the tone of the battle
If you care at all about keeping the level of conflict as low as possible, then be sure to keep your spouse informed at all times and well ahead of time about what you and your lawyer are doing and why you are doing it. This helps to minimize unpleasant surprises, misunderstandings and overreaction, especially if your spouse returns the favor. It helps to keep the background lines of communications open.
Communicate by letter to avoid arguments; keep copies. Remember, most cases eventually get settled by the spouses between themselves, not by their lawyers, so you will be better off for trying to keep communication lines open.
5. Carefully choose the right lawyer
It may be okay to rely on the first attorney you interview for information, but that’s not good enough for a battle. It is very important to take your case around to several lawyers to get a variety of opinions and attitudes before you choose the one you want. Don’t economize at the wrong time; paying for these extra interviews can save you a fortune later.
6. Be thoroughly prepared and informed
When you go to see a lawyer, you don’t want to waste any time — it costs too much. Get organized and be prepared. You should know your goals, be familiar with all facts of your case, and know as specifically as possible what you want to talk about with the attorney.
Send the attorney a note before you go in, detailing exactly what you want to discuss, and include copies of any relevant documents. That gives the lawyer time to absorb your information and gives you a chance to see if the lawyer bothers to prepare for the conference.
Organize your papers and your thoughts; make an agenda before you go in. Keep notes on every discussion; keep track of time spent on the phone or in the office so you can compare it to the itemized billing.
7. Make it clear that you are in charge of your case
This is your life and you have to live with any consequences of the divorce action, so it is reasonable — and important — that you be ultimately in charge of your own case.
You want to hire the lawyer’s knowledge and experience; you very much want to listen to the lawyer’s good advice; but you expect to be part of any decisions that affect the tone and strategy of the case.
Tell the lawyer that you want copies of all papers and correspondence, and that you expect to be kept informed of every step in the action.
Also make it clear that you expect your phone calls to be returned as soon as possible, no later than the next working day. In return, you have to reassure the lawyer that you will not be one of those clients who makes frivolous calls.
8. Don’t hesitate to switch attorneys
If your attorney’s services turn out to be unsatisfactory, you should send a letter with specific details of what the problem is and what changes you want made. If there is no improvement, fire your attorney right after you find a better one.
For more information, contact Divorce Helpline at 800-359-7004
Comments are closed.