This material is adapted from the award-winning book by Ed Sherman, “Make any Divorce Better.” Ed Sherman is one of the founders of Divorce Helpline. His dedication to providing compassionate and cost-effective personalized legal support to those facing divorce resulted in the unique service model that distinguishes Divorce Helpline from other California divorce attorneys and divorce document services.
This is one of the most frequently asked questions, but the true answer is not what you might think.
People constantly ask us, “When will my divorce be over?” And we always have to say, “Well, it depends on what you mean by ‘over.’ ”
In one unforgettable case, a woman came in asking for orders against her ex-husband. She was haggard with emotion, nervous and upset to the point that she seemed ill. Trembling, she related at length how bad her ex-husband was, how ever since their divorce he had been poisoning her son’s mind against her and was constantly interfering with their relationship.
She seemed a bit old to have a young child at home, so I interrupted and asked the age of her son. “He’s just turned 32,” she said. And then I asked how long it had been since her divorce. “About seventeen years,” she said. This wasn’t a divorce, it was a career! A way of life!
Getting a judgment doesn’t mean your divorce is over. Not having a judgment doesn’t mean it isn’t over emotionally. The real divorce is over when you have your self back. The real divorce is over when:
The pain, anger, hurt, blame and guilt are finished
Your spouse no longer has the power to push your buttons
You are comfortable in the middle of your own life
This can happen very soon, many years from now, or never. It’s up to you.